This is the hardest thing I've done.
Ever.
I've done hard things in the past. But nothing begins to come close to this endeavor. The intensity just doesn't stop. No, rather, it just gets even more demanding. Part of me reads that and says Duh, what else did I expect? Another part of me says Bring It On. And the other part of me simply wants to hibernate. Until June 27th.
Yes, I am fully on the rollercoaster. My stellar run yesterday gave way this morning to quite possibly the most awful bike ride I've ever done. This saddens me--I love my bike.
I can point to half a dozen things I could be doing better at this point in training. I won't bore you with the details. Suffice to say I am determined to not sabotage my dream.
I'm feeling rather demoralized right now--mentally, emotionally, psychologically. Hence, the short post. Know that your replies here and in person and over email to me are priceless and become more and more critical by the day.
Jen, you are an inspiration to me. The candor and honesty in your posts demonstrate you drive, humility, and perseverance...all qualities I aspire to have in your depths. I can only imagine the demands you are under: physically, mentally, and emotionally. This is a hill, not a headlong ride into the wind...the end is near.
ReplyDeleteAnd, selfishly, I must say I look forward to June 27th when I can say my first road ride EVER was alongside an Ironman Triathlete!
Jen,
ReplyDeleteRemember my telling you about Radical Acceptance? Accept THIS moment just as it is. It's OK that you are feeling overwhelmed. Allow that feeling to wash over you, really take it in -- feel it. Then let it pass by you like a cloud. This too shall pass. I promise. And on that day, you will ROCK that Ironman. I have every confidence in you. Let the support of your friends and loved ones get you through these moments!
Love ya!
Ali
OK. I'm being taught about perserverance in the slightest of ways: this is the 3rd time I've written this post. I could have given up but then I thought of what you are going through and compared to that, giving up seemed so silly and no longer an option. Your "awful" bike ride was bound to happen sooner or later and now, thank goodness, it is over and you can move on toward your goal. NO ONE knows herself better that you do and we are all learning so much from you and are so inpsired by you. You are a rock and you have always accomplished with flying colors everything you have set your mind to. Now you have your heart and body to help you along the way. I love you beyond measure.
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