Is it really just a matter of mind over matter?

It's October 1st. That in and of itself is not terribly newsworthy. But this is a really big deal for me, and here's why: I tend to fall apart in October. Historically, October has been my toughest month. Physically, I'm feeling the effects of a reduced training load. Psychologically, I can't stand the increasingly later sunrise and earlier sunset. Emotionally, I want to eat my way past the blues to comfort. It's time to hibernate, my primitive brain tells me. No no, silly girl, my rational brain starts. You know that preparing for winter was once adaptive for survival and that now that we've evolved as a species to better control light and dark cycles blah blah blah... Thanks. That rationalization is so not helpful. I know all that, but I sure don't feel it.

Which wins? Both do. So I end up in a weird place, in some holding pattern between stellar days when I power through some spectacular workouts and days when all I want to do is fall asleep until spring.

Okay, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic. Yes, life is pretty great. And yet October continues to be my darkest month. I can look back on previous journals and see the clear pattern: as autumn descends, I lose motivation. Big time. Every year, at the same time. It's so predictable I could take it to Vegas. You'd think by now I'd have this figured out and know how to head it off at the pass. That I'd be able to anticipate it, have an alternate plan in place.

Maybe I have. Time will tell. Things are slightly different this October 1st. First, like much of the country, we've been having unseasonably warm temperatures. Right now, it's 80 degrees. We hit 90 several times this week, setting records. I've yet to pack away the shorts and sandals. It feels like July.

Second, I enter the "off-season" feeling better than I ever have. Even though training has dropped in volume, I am more active now than I have been at this time in past years.

Lastly, I have a half-marathon in two weeks. It's the first year I've had a race so late in the season. I like it--this might be my new plan from now on.

I got to thinking last night about how much our minds create the reality we live. Without going into deep philosophical meanderings that would max out the space on this site as well as my brain power, I wondered if I would sink into my regular pseudo-depression if I didn't know what day it was. How much does it matter that I see October 1st on the calendar? I do believe my bummer of a mood swing this time of year is partially physiology-based. Less light entering the eyes = change in hormones = change in mood. But beyond that, how much do I create my own suffering by saying "oh, here I go again, it's time to feel sad and stop working out and start eating a lot. After all, it's what I do."

Never have I told myself "this year will be different." Never in Octobers past have I turned darkness and the cold temps to my advantage--to work on technique in the pool, to work on strength in the gym, to rest my overworked muscles, to enjoy not melting in the summer heat.

This is my year to experiment. Let's see how much my thoughts impact my mood and my actions. I will report my progress here. In the meantime, enjoy your own autumns wherever you are!